Some Terrain

I like giving inanimate objects names. My old car I named Frank (sometimes Frank the Tank). I named my money tree Biolante. My steel mace is named Ice (team Winterfell!). I have a quad cane from when I was learning to use a cane. It stands up on four metal prongs. I leave it in the garage to use when I take out the trash. Trash cane.

The cane I was using around the house is named Sting (Frodo’s sword in Lord of the Rings). It is all wood and in one piece, which I love because it doesn’t clatter when I’m sneaking past the kids’ bedroom to workout early in the morning. I thought this was working out great, but often it would fall over and the all-wood handle would dent the hardwood floor. So, I bought four canes with rubber handles with the intention of only keeping the one I liked best. The one I’m keeping is named Woody. Not only because Toy Story gives me nostalgia, but also because it’s saving our hardwood floors. I bought a cane for the backyard that has a wider bottom that also says it is “all terrain.” It is perfect for hiking, mountain climbing, and long walks on the beach. Life changing. Open to name ideas!

I actually think this cane will be better in my backyard as I hobble to the fire pit to listen to music with my dad, when making s’mores with my kids, or when my youngest needs to be saved on the playscape, but I don’t plan on becoming a mountain climber. I really get a kick out of assistance devices boast they are “all terrain.” My walker is really nice and definitely one of the only ways I was able to get through the airport, but even when they say “all terrain” it’s really “some terrain.”

My dream was always taking my kids when they got older hiking through the national parks. Specifically Utah because you can hit several parks in one trip. I wanted to take the to Zion, Arches and Canyonlands. I’d probably add Bryce Canyon or Capitol Reef. I could see renting a camper with a 17- and 19-year-old. Maybe in this fantasy their dad was with us. He loved fishing with me and would have taken the boys fishing. They would probably sneak beer. I’d take them hiking on Angel’s Landing. We would see every star in the Milky Way in Canyonlands. Marvel at the at the spectacles that are the arch formations at Arches National Park. Teenage boys are little shits, so they would undoubtably be arguing and throwing Cheetos at each other in the backseat as we drove from park to park. They would take too many pictures of rocks and not enough pictures of each other, but the memories would be there.

Now its down to Canyonlands and Arches, which are both very vehicle accessible. I can’t hike Angel’s Landing with my kids in any fantasy future. Realistically, my knees took a beating from running so I’m not sure they would have held out for Angel’s Landing when I was 50ish. I could still camp with my future teenagers in Canyonlands. It’s a dark sky protected area, so you can literally see every star. It’s completely unlike anything you see when you look up at the stars in a normal pedestrian area. The night sky where you live may look black but dark sky areas make it look like a watercolor in contrast. The boys could hike and explore the area during the day. I’ll have to stay back, read and maybe make campfire tacos (yes that is a thing if you live out of your car/tent enough). I always dreamed I would be hiking with them, but I still want to take them to awesome places, even if I can’t do everything with them.

Someday I’m still going to rent that camper with two teenaged boys and take them through Utah. And I’m guessing they will throw Cheetos at each other and take too many pictures of rocks.